that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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