and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
