I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
