Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Randomize