I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
