therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
