Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
