friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize
