I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
