My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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