everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
