Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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