I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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