Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
