Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
