I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
