i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
