Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
