I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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