I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
