Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
two words...techno handjob
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
