Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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