You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
