Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize