if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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