i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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