Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
