Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
