He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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