i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
