why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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