my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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