i would punch a child for taco bell
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize