Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
