im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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