Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Are we still banned from the library?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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