I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
