hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
