There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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