It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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