I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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