I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
