...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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