So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
