Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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