It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have fence marks all over my body
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
