he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
