Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need a beard to bite.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
