CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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