Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
