I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize