we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
