i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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