i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
