i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
