In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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