addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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