we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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