i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
