Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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