Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
